In the late 1980s Marguerite Guzman Bouvard began experiencing the puzzling symptoms of an illness that affects millions of women yet often takes years to diagnose, interstitial cystitis: an inflammation and deterioration of the bladder lining. It is often accompanied by related immune disorders such as fibromyalgia and vulvodynia that cause crushing fatigue and a host of allergies, conditions Bouvard developed. As her illnesses progressed, Bouvard, an active globe trotting scholar and writer, was forced to slow down and to reassess her priorities. This memoir tells the story of how she came to create a life that was rich and full despite debilitating physical conditions.
Bouvard addresses key issues such as the importance of speaking clearly to the broader society about illness, learning to deal with pain, and how to manage relations with physicians. She reveals how she learned to continue to be of use to the world by opening up a new area of working toward human rights and reorienting her life as a writer. The book has a strong spiritual dimension in revealing how the meditation and reflection she turned to because of her curtailed activities actually opened her up to a wider life. From these practices she learned to cultivate inner strength, flexibility, and adaptability. Thankful for small pleasures and grateful for what she has, Bouvard shows how true healing means not waiting for a cure, but maintaining a sense of possibility.